Tuesday, January 5, 2009

Tom Techie

Age: 36
Height: 5"10
Occupation: software design and user support

As you know, over the Christmas break, I was watching TV and an ad for an online dating site came on, advertising a "free communication" weekend starting New Years Day. I immediately signed up (I love a good deal) and started collecting matches. The one catch? Because I wasn't a member, I was not allowed to see their posted pictures. Drats.

One of the matches I began communicating with was Tom. He seemed nice enough, nothing particularly stellar about our communication, but I have vowed to keep an open mind about meeting people this year, so when it got to the point where I could send open e-mails (and not just trade answers to questions), I suggested we meet for coffee. We set up a meeting on Monday, January 5th. It was then I had to tell him that he would have to look for me, because I had no idea what he looked like. He responded, "Oh, I didn't realize you couldn't see my pictures. I'll send you couple. Hopefully you'll still want to meet me once you see them." Red flag.

I arrived at our meeting spot and took a look around. I couldn't see anyone in the immediate area that looked like him, so I decided to order my coffee and find a table to sit at. As I stood at the pickup counter, waiting for my coffee, I spotted him sitting just beyond the coffee area on a bench. As he couldn't tell that I had spotted him, I observed him while I waited.He was definitely a big guy and sat with a slouch. He was wearing a hoodie with a t-shirt and pants. He looked dejected.

I grabbed my coffee and walked towards a table where I could flag him down. I gave him a smile and he got up from the bench and walked over. He said hello and I motioned to him that I had already gotten a drink so he went to get his. When we sat down to talk, it was mostly me asking him questions and him answering. He seemed a bit nervous, or perhaps that was just my perception. When he did ask me a question, it was mostly a variation of the first question he asked, mainly, "Do you like your job?" He didn't make much eye contact, and when he wasn't talking, he looked kind of sad.

We managed to chat for an hour and then I had to get going. I normally ensure I have something else I have to do or get to about an hour or two after I meet up with any coffee date. It allows me to leave a date without feeling guilty for lying about leaving. Anyway, he asked me if I would like to meet up again. I didn't say anything definite, only that he should e-mail me if he wanted to do something. We parted ways.

Later on that evening, he sent me an e-mail, saying it was good to meet me and to let him know when I would like to go out again. I responded that I would. I just don't think that I will.He was actually a lot like me. Very laid back and spent a lot of time at home. He does a movie night with his friends every Friday, which is nice. But I need someone who isn't exactly like me - who is going to get me off my couch and out into the world. I don't think Tom can or will do that for me. He was a nice guy, just not particularly suitable for me. Back to the drawing board.