Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Pierre Programmer

Age: 34
Height: 6'1"
Occupation: Software designer

I met Pierre during the "free communication" weekend and we've exchanged several e-mails since.

As you can tell, he is French and he grew up in the south of France en Provence. There was something about the way he wrote that kept me writing back. It wasn't that he was particularly humorous or witty, but he had a realness to him that I don't often come across in this world of online dating. He wasn't always asking me the "typical" getting to know you questions. He and I had e-mail conversations. It was nice.

When I finally had access to the pictures, I wasn't surprised - he looks very French, whatever that image conjures up for you. Shaved head (I think he might be balding or perhaps thinning). A small soul patch under his bottom lip. Tall and lanky. Angular but also delicate features. Very kind eyes. I wanted to meet him.

After exchanging e-mails for the past couple of weeks, we had our first meeting yesterday. We were going to meet at a coffee shop near my work and close to where he lived.

As I approached the shop, I saw him sitting along the front windows. I was 75% sure it was him. I opened the shop door and stood there and scanned the room (a little tip I picked up from a book on schmoozing). I figured it would give him time to see me and by the time I scanned over to his side of the room, he'd be looking at me, I'd smile and walk over.

I scanned the room and caught another guy checking me out. When my eyes reached where Pierre was sitting, he wasn't looking at me. I inwardly panicked. Maybe it wasn't him after all. I started to walk towards him as he was sitting right by the front counter. I stood practically beside him, but he didn't say anything. So I did what made the most sense at that point - I went to order my coffee. Stupid, right?

As I was standing on the other side of the room, waiting to pick up my mocha from the barista, it occurred to me that being coy, or whatever it was I was trying to be, was stupid because now, I would have to walk up to him and say hello, with him knowing that it was me that just blew by him in the first place. Dumbass.

I took my drink and walked over to him. "Pierre?"

"Ah, hello!"

"Hi! I wasn't sure it was you so ...."

"Ah, yes. You have your drink? I'll go get mine." I sat down, took of my coat, and vowed to act like a normal person from that point on.

It was a nice visit. He was very soft-spoken, almost shy, but conversed easily. He had a lovely French accent that was noticeable, but not overbearing. We chatted for about an hour. It was really nice. However, he wasn't feeling well as he was battling the cold that everyone seems to have carried over from Christmas. As we parted ways, he said, "I would hug you but I don't want to get you sick." After exchanging our bonne soirees, I walked away, quite pleased with the way things went.

And then I woke up today and decided to dissect what happened last night. My biggest thing? I'm quite certain he saw me walk in and stand there at the coffee shop door looking for someone, but he didn't motion over to me or say anything when I walked by him. I am thinking, perhaps, he did not like what he saw (I think there is such a thing as being too photogenic). Yes, he could've been unsure that it was me, but there was no one else in the cafe that was alone or looking for someone and really, how many people look like me in a crowd of 30?

He was polite and friendly, but in the end, I don't remember him saying we should do it again. I sent the follow up e-mail, which was against what my head was telling me. I just wrote him a short note this morning, again expressing to him that I had enjoyed meeting him and that should he want to get together again, that I would like to see him. I'm not sure I'll hear from him again, which I can accept. It will, however, be one of the bigger online dating disappointments I've had in awhile if he decides not to answer.

C'est la vie.